- Within 6 months of going out with your baby/ tot, you will have identified at least two preferred baby changing facilities. Your entire outing and meal options will be based around these.
- You will put of potty training because you’ve just got used to going out without having to take multiple changes of clothes for your tot. You’ve got the exploding bottom stage over with now. All outputs are contained in the nappy. Let’s just enjoy that for a bit longer
- You’ve eaten the kid’s finger sandwiches out of the John Lewis café because apparently you’re not allowed to eat the chocolate orange sponge cake but your toddler can (Toast rule also applies to cake… and cocktail sausages)
- You can’t face going to the supermarket one more time (ie. Pushing buggy whilst carrying child and basket) so you bulk buy things you don’t need to get to the minimum spend for a supermarket delivery.
- You will never, ever be able to go jeans shopping with your child. Trying on clothes is no longer an option. Order everything online and send it back, or get a sitter.
- You will stop for a coffee at times solely determined by your child napping in their buggy. If you are with your partner, you now refer to trips to Costas as “city breaks.”
- Your jackets will now all be showerproof and have hoods. Holding an umbrella while pushing a buggy is not an option.
- You spend a lot of time picking things up and saying their name so you encourage speech…. Mostly you’re just talking to yourself
- You will want to hug anyone who offers to carry your basket or tray in a café
- You will be the parent who either a) takes everything in the house out with you, or b) forgets at least one of the essentials. You must pick one. There is no middle ground.
Or is it just me?
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