Like the majority of parents I know, we have had many periods where we’ve struggled to get our son to sleep or to stay asleep. In my two year period as a mother this is what I’ve learned and what to do when your baby won’t sleep. I’m sharing in the hope it might help other parents, particularly those new to this challenge. It also applies to toddlers. Warning : this post contains some sarcasm which some people may find unhelpful. 1. Buy a spare phone charger and leave it in their room, you’re going to need a full battery if you’re going to be scrolling up and down Facebook all night, or googling products guaranteed to help baby sleep (save your money, they don’t) 2. Memorise the location of every creaking floorboard in your house so you know which ones you need to avoid as you back out of their room like a ninja 3. Practice your faux smile – you’ll need it when someone tells you how they never had any issues getting their little one to sleep 4. Order every book on contented babies and getting them to sleep from Amazon 5. Read every one of these books, rip them up and throw them out of the window 6. Keep headphones in your dressing gown pocket at all times. Even when baby is dozing off or nestled in to you, you can stick these in and listen to some music or something 7. Subscribe to a podcast… View Post

Within 6 months of going out with your baby/ tot, you will have identified at least two preferred baby changing facilities. Your entire outing and meal options will be based around these. You will put of potty training because you’ve just got used to going out without having to take multiple changes of clothes for your tot. You’ve got the exploding bottom stage over with now. All outputs are contained in the nappy. Let’s just enjoy that for a bit longer You’ve eaten the kid’s finger sandwiches out of the John Lewis café because apparently you’re not allowed to eat the chocolate orange sponge cake but your toddler can (Toast rule also applies to cake… and cocktail sausages) You can’t face going to the supermarket one more time (ie. Pushing buggy whilst carrying child and basket) so you bulk buy things you don’t need to get to the minimum spend for a supermarket delivery. You will never, ever be able to go jeans shopping with your child. Trying on clothes is no longer an option. Order everything online and send it back, or get a sitter. You will stop for a coffee at times solely determined by your child napping in their buggy. If you are with your partner, you now refer to trips to Costas as “city breaks.” Your jackets will now all be showerproof and have hoods. Holding an umbrella while pushing a buggy is not an option. You spend a lot of time picking things up and… View Post

My child has turned me into a liar on three occasions in the last two weeks. I know it’s happened to you too. You are holding that little bundle of joy in your arms, bouncing them up and down, while they scream, and snot runs down your face because you don’t have a spare hand for a tissue. You’re now at the heaving, dribbling end of a weeping episode. You’re telling your mother/ friend/ random passer by that little Johnny darling never sleeps and he doesn’t stop crying, it must be colic, or he hates people, or there’s something wrong with him, or you’re a faulty mother, and then mother/ friend/ random passer by picks them up and they stop crying and they’re suddenly a bundle of delightful, smiling pink boy. Yep, liar! This week, my suddenly illness -induced fussy eater managed to eat three chicken strips, four cocktail sausages and two onion bhajis at the buffet table at a house warming. So much for he wont eat anything today. He barely touched his tea. It looks lovely though… on our arrival. As soon as my back was turned that little hand was rummaging around the paper plates and mini pasties like someone had told him that they’d just announced the end of rationing… or about to bring it in. At same event, my normally social nervous child (he’s not great in big or noisy groups as a rule) decided that hosting said party was his domain – befriending a small boy, a dog, two ladies and… View Post