My child has turned me into a liar on three occasions in the last two weeks. I know it’s happened to you too.
You are holding that little bundle of joy in your arms, bouncing them up and down, while they scream, and snot runs down your face because you don’t have a spare hand for a tissue. You’re now at the heaving, dribbling end of a weeping episode. You’re telling your mother/ friend/ random passer by that little Johnny darling never sleeps and he doesn’t stop crying, it must be colic, or he hates people, or there’s something wrong with him, or you’re a faulty mother, and then mother/ friend/ random passer by picks them up and they stop crying and they’re suddenly a bundle of delightful, smiling pink boy. Yep, liar!
This week, my suddenly illness -induced fussy eater managed to eat three chicken strips, four cocktail sausages and two onion bhajis at the buffet table at a house warming. So much for he wont eat anything today. He barely touched his tea. It looks lovely though… on our arrival. As soon as my back was turned that little hand was rummaging around the paper plates and mini pasties like someone had told him that they’d just announced the end of rationing… or about to bring it in.
At same event, my normally social nervous child (he’s not great in big or noisy groups as a rule) decided that hosting said party was his domain – befriending a small boy, a dog, two ladies and he whatever stranger mooched in. He put himself front and centre of all the action like it was his own house. So much for shyness/ tiredness/ fussiness. Who knew a toddler could throw so many shapes to “Hooked on a Feeling” (Ally McBeal dancing baby sprung to mind at the time)!
On the phone to his health visitor I expressed some concern that his language development seemed to have stalled a bit. I wondered how much his recent illnesses may have impacted on it. We’ve had an ear infection, a burst eardrum, vomiting bug and scarlet fever within a four-week window. Not a single new word in that whole period. Am I doing something wrong I wept down the phone? I put the phone down and he proceeded to say potato, daisy, flower, iggle pigle and bath. He also told me there was a car outside,
Honestly, kids will turn you into liars.