A Toddler Has Turned me into a Liar

A Toddler Has Turned me into a Liar

My child has turned me into a liar on three occasions in the last two weeks. I know it’s happened to you too.

You are holding that little bundle of joy in your arms, bouncing them up and down, while they scream, and snot runs down your face because you don’t have a spare hand for a tissue. You’re now at the heaving, dribbling end of a weeping episode. You’re telling your mother/ friend/ random passer by that little Johnny darling never sleeps and he doesn’t stop crying, it must be colic, or he hates people, or there’s something wrong with him, or you’re a faulty mother, and then mother/ friend/ random passer by picks them up and they stop crying and they’re suddenly a bundle of delightful, smiling pink boy. Yep, liar!

This week, my suddenly illness -induced fussy eater managed to eat three chicken strips, four cocktail sausages and two onion bhajis at the buffet table at a house warming. So much for he wont eat anything today. He barely touched his tea. It looks lovely though… on our arrival. As soon as my back was turned that little hand was rummaging around the paper plates and mini pasties like someone had told him that they’d just announced the end of rationing… or about to bring it in.

At same event, my normally social nervous child (he’s not great in big or noisy groups as a rule) decided that hosting said party was his domain – befriending a small boy, a dog, two ladies and he whatever stranger mooched in. He put himself front and centre of all the action like it was his own house. So much for shyness/ tiredness/ fussiness. Who knew a toddler could throw so many shapes to “Hooked on a Feeling” (Ally McBeal dancing baby sprung to mind at the time)!

On the phone to his health visitor I expressed some concern that his language development seemed to have stalled a bit. I wondered how much his recent illnesses may have impacted on it. We’ve had an ear infection, a burst eardrum, vomiting bug and scarlet fever within a four-week window. Not a single new word in that whole period. Am I doing something wrong I wept down the phone? I put the phone down and he proceeded to say potato, daisy, flower, iggle pigle and bath. He also told me there was a car outside,

Honestly, kids will turn you into liars.

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2 Comments

  1. 3rd November 2017 / 1:58 pm

    hahahaha, this was hilarious. yep, they certainly do keep you on your toes. one I always found is “oh he’s tired” (the excuse for every type of behaviour when you’re around other people/kids) only to feel like they can tell you’re lying because toddler is running wild, playing, laughing, hitting and definitely isn’t tired lol. oh well xD #bloggerclubUK

    • Helen Treharne
      3rd November 2017 / 2:19 pm

      Tired or teething or spoiled – I hear that a lot. Sometimes I just want to say “no you are annoying him, you might want to rethink what you are doing”! At least there is reassurance that all babies and toddlers in particular seem to do this. I picked up our Small Boy yesterday from nursery to with a very concerning welcome – “he has kept his eyes clothes ALL Day. I wondered if it was his new thing of him hiding by closing his eyes or covering them – the old I can’t see you so you can’t see me trick. They said they didn’t think so but he he seemed very out of sorts. I went in the room and said “wheres Small Boy. I can’t see him anywhere. He’s very good at hiding”. He opened his eyes smiling. He must have been waiting for someone to “find him” all afternoon. Born for the stage that one!

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